2020 Was a strange year, especially for dating. Once the pandemic hit, I stopped browsing my normal dating apps and stopped going out. I eventually found myself in possession of a bunch of expired condoms. I realized that I’m not the only person who probably has this problem. Aside from the normal use, I’ve tried to think of some uses for condoms on guns. Some are more mundane or have historical uses, and some are a little silly.
Condom Use #1: Protecting Your Barrel
This first use for condoms on guns goes way back to World War II. Rubbers were provided to US GIs who were heading into theater, but for their intended use. However, for many beach landings, they were put onto the muzzle of rifles to protect the bore from being obstructed by sand, rocks, or other debris. This technique is still viable today, although I don’t know of too many beaches that need storming.
Condom Use #2: Flashlight Lens Cover
Our second use of condoms on guns is also a simple one. We all hate it when we get carbon fouling on our WML’s lens, and sometimes we can’t find the right thing to prevent it. The CLENS works well, but what if you need something quickly? Boom, a condom works in a pinch! I wouldn’t turn the light on for too long, because you might burn your rubber off. Not a bad use for a peter protector!
Condom Use #3: Optic Protector
So maybe you have an optic and don’t have lens caps or a scope bikini. A condom can work in a tight squeeze! Depending on the size of your optic, you may need to use two rubbers. Normally you shouldn’t use two condoms on your wang, but this is a little bit different. Now I will say, the optic really isn’t very usable with the rubber protecting it. This is the only time that I will tell you to remove your rubber before you get into action!
Condom Use #4: Magazine Cover
Ok, now hear me out here; Y’know the dustcovers that come on PMAGS? They help keep your top rounds clean and keep the pressure off of the feed lips. What if we wanted to apply half of that concept to other magazines? Bam! Condoms on your magazines! This is a bit of a stretch, but for guns that get really finicky with dirty mags, this might help out!
Condom Use #5: Ammunition Bag
Well, what if you needed to waterproof some ammo, but didn’t have a sealed can? Condoms work! Some rounds have issues with water-causing malfunctions, namely black powder, and older ammo; rubbers can offer a cheap watertight solution. Hey, don’t knock it till you try it!
Condom Use #6: Lube Carrier
The last use for condoms today should seem quite normal. Rubbers have a place to catch “liquids” which makes them great for holding your gun lube! Many modern guns, especially AR-15s, require sufficient lubing to be reliable. Why not fill a rubber with some of your preferred gun lube, and secure it in your kit, or your pistol grip?
The Climax
While this might seem rather tongue-in-cheek, some of these condom uses are viable in a tight scenario. Some are also pants-on-head stupid, but I’m not one to be serious all of the time. Hope you enjoyed some humor!
The condoms used in the photographs had all reached their expiration dates. They do expire, so please be sure to check them before use. Always practice safe sex!
When my dad went ashore at Iwo Jima, he had a condom over the muzzle of his M1 Carbine. He told me it was common for riflemen to do that.