Congratulations on your new baby, and welcome to motherhood to the first time mamas! I knew going into first time motherhood that my conceal carry set up would need to change. I did not, however, anticipate the difficulty I’d have conceal carrying with an earthside babe accompanying me. Here are some considerations before you conceal carry in the fourth trimester.
Mental Health Considerations for the Conceal Carrier
The biggest consideration for the conceal carrying new mama is going to be her mental health. You’ve just experienced a massive hormone drop, are sleeping less than you were before, and are now tasked with caring for a vulnerable baby. Before you strap on a gun, let’s consider some of the mental health considerations.
Baby Blues
Most commonly the “baby blues” occur within days of delivering, and only last about two weeks. I think I noticed having the baby blues around day 4 after delivering, and was feeling better by day 10. The baby blues are caused by the massive hormone drop you experience after delivering. It’s like the drop that happens right before your period begins, but much more severe. During this time I felt weepier and cried a lot, but I wasn’t sad all the time.
Sleep Deprivation
Young babies wake up a lot at night. Before bringing Baby PP home I woke up during the night to pump, but it was recommended that I get a 4-6 hour stretch of sleep. Now that Baby PP is home they are waking up about every two hours to eat. For the most part I have been able to keep myself together, but every few days when the exhaustion sets in, I snap. I complain to my husband that he isn’t doing enough, I don’t know how I can do this when I go back to work, and I cry.
Get Some Rest
Taking naps during the day, and passing responsibilities off to dad helps. Your outlook will improve if you’re able to get even a solid three hour stretch of sleep. Early in the mornings my husband will change the baby’s diaper, snuggle them, or give them a bottle so I can get an extra few minutes to rest.
Take these first few weeks to rest. Rest doesn’t have to be taking a nap. I know I struggle with napping, but I am comfortable to lay in bed with baby and listen to an audiobook, or watch a show. Resting during the fourth trimester might look different to everyone, but now is the time to rest as much as you can. Even if that is just laying down.
General Anxiety and Nervousness
It’s normal to be anxious about your new baby. Are they okay? Are they gaining enough weight? Why haven’t they pooped today? Are they eating enough? Will letting them cry while I use the restroom affect our attachment? Are they breathing? Am I a bad mom for wanting a break?
As a conceal carrier, I have these concerns along with the concern of managing a baby out in public. The first time I left the house alone with baby I was so nervous! I was worried about everything from the baby’s needs to keeping us safe. It’s also normal to worry about how to safely get baby in and out of the car when you are going places. It’s normal to worry about how to handle a threat with your baby present. You’re okay to be extra cautious with your new baby. However it isn’t okay to let your anxiety bring your tools out at an inappropriate time.
Post Partum Depression and Post Partum Anxiety
While these are common among postpartum women, these are not normal feelings of anxiety and depression. If your anxiety is preventing you from functioning, or being overly cautious to the point of being dangerous to others, you might need to consider keeping your firearm locked up. If you have feelings of harming yourself or others, now is the time to keep your firearm locked up. The goal is that you are around to protect your baby. In order to do so, you have to be around.
In situations like this, it is okay to leave the gun at home. There are less lethal tools still available to you, and you still have your situational awareness. You can also put the responsibility of protecting onto your partner.
Practice: Live Fire and Dry Fire
Despite everything mentioned above (with the exception of PPD and PPA), you still need to practice gun handling and shooting. More so now than ever.
Live Fire
Now that baby is here you are safe to head back to the range! While it won’t be as simple as it was before (now you need to arrange child care), there is nothing really stopping you from putting rounds downrange. My first range session post partum was just over two weeks after delivery. My baby was safe with their NICU nurses, and my husband and I went to our public range where I was able to get reacquainted with my carry guns.
Not everyone will feel comfortable going back to the range that quickly. My experience immediately post partum was not typical, so I went back a bit quicker than others might. There is no need to rush. It’s best to wait until you feel comfortable.
After the range be sure to wash your hands with de-leading soap or wipes, change your clothes, and possibly take a shower before handling your baby again. We do not want to expose them to the contaminants of the range. I also wipe down my range shoes with de-leading wipes and remove them before coming into the house.
Dry Practice
With baby at home there is still dry practice to be done. You likely won’t be able to go to the range as often as you did before, so you’ll want to continue working on the dry skills you’ve been practicing the past nine months.
Now you can start dry practicing with a blue gun while you are with the baby. You need to know how to safely manipulate your gun in your new lifestyle. Carry locations, baby wearing, and more will likely be a big change for you. Using a dummy gun helps to improve safety while still getting practice in.
Much like with live fire, we’ll want to wash our hands after dry practice. While we won’t be shooting, our guns are still covered in oils, and other particulate from the range. Safety for you and baby are now more than just the four gun handling rules.
The Armed Parent/Guardian
Now that you are no longer pregnant you can attend the full Contextual Handgun: The Armed Parent/Guardian class. Per the class description, “The Armed Parent/Guardian discusses with students the hard/soft skills necessary to solve the commonly observed shooting problems associated with fighting with our children present…Students will be shown WHY the context we find ourselves in as a parent can change our tactics”.
At Primer Peak we are not shy about our love for this class. Editor Dan and I have already implemented some of the skills we learned in class as we’ve navigated the outside world with our tiny companion. This is our #1 suggestion of training for those who spend time around children. Take this class.
Everyone Loves Babies
Everyone loves babies… at least most people love babies. Especially small babies. Bringing a baby out into the world is going to bring you a new level of scrutiny. You’ll hear people make comments about your baby, and some people will even approach you to talk about your baby.
Most people are well intentioned when they ask about your little one, or try to sneak a peak at their precious face. I know I used to comment to my husband when I’d see a fresh baby and their mama at Target. However, not everyone has honest intentions. It’s up to you to determine what your boundaries are for your baby in public, and to defend them. Expect far more attention than you have previously received.
Baby Wearing Considerations for the Conceal Carrier
The first time I remember seeing moms baby wearing was in 2012, and I fell in love with the idea. I’ve always known that I’d baby wear my own children one day. Before having my own child I practiced with my nieces and nephew, and my dog.
Now, as a conceal carrier I’ve had to start thinking about how to conceal carry while I am wearing a baby. Unfortunately, most carriers and wraps run along, or close to your waist. Because of this AIWB, or carrying along your waistband might not be the best option to avoid printing.
Admittedly, I am still working through how to do this well. Printing is unacceptable for me, and I have yet to find a way to baby wear while armed and not print. We are also working on warming Baby PP up to being worn. The first few times we tried ended in tears (from both of us). I am determined to figure this out, and to conceal my firearm to my standard while doing so. There will eventually be a follow up article that goes into baby wearing for the conceal carrier in the future.
Breastfeeding Considerations for the Conceal Carrier
I am so happy that I am able to breastfeed Baby Primer Peak. After everything that went into bringing them earthside and home, I am so grateful that I can do this one thing. However, breastfeeding in public has proven challenging when I consider that I need to manage a firearm while I do it.
Bye Bye Flashbang
While I adore my Flashbang and have been using it for the majority of my carry for almost two years, it has been benched for the time being. Due to this I have returned to AIWB as my standard carry position.
The Flashbang places your firearm in the natural dip between your breasts. The weight of your breast helps hold the clamshell holster closed, and secure against your body. Unfortunately because of where the Flashbang rests, it gets in the way during breastfeeding. You also put your baby eye level with your holstered gun.
I only use the Flashbang now when I leave the house without my baby, and I am sure to return when we have weaned.
AIWB Challenges
Since bringing Baby PP home from the NICU I have returned to carrying AIWB. However, it has not been without it’s own challenges when trying to breastfeed in public.
Depending on which breast you are latching baby to, you may expose your firearm. Breastfeeding requires lifting your shirt, or pulling it aside for baby to access your breast. You need to be aware of what else is being exposed when going to feed your baby.
You’ll also need to consider where baby is in relation to your firearm. The first time I breastfed Baby PP in public while armed their legs kept resting on the grip of my gun. Not only did that make me print a bit, it also angered the tiny milk monster. They were not accustomed to their legs bumping onto that. This position is still feasible, but you’ll need to do some work to make it work.
Watch Out for Weirdos (and Karens)
Breastfeeding is a natural thing, but not everyone acts that way. To elaborate more on the extra level of scrutiny you’ll receive with a baby, you’ll receive even more once you are breastfeeding in public. All the more reason to be sure your firearm is out of view from potential, or accidental, onlookers.
While I haven’t received any hate or ogling in public, I know of people who have. That can not only potentially risk exposing your firearm, but are also unusual social situations to experience. Think about how you’ll handle those events ahead of time.
Possible Solutions for the Breastfeeding Conceal Carrier
Hope is not lost, there are ways to breastfeed and keep your firearm concealed!
First, look for breastfeeding friendly tops. Button down shirts are great for this. You can unbutton just enough to expose your breast, and leave the shirttails where they are. Even shirts with partial buttons can be worn! There are also “breastfeeding shirts” on the market. These are shirts made with an extra panel, or zipper, etc. that allows for easy access to the breast, without lifting your whole shirt up.
Breastfeeding Covers
Second, consider covering up! If you’d prefer a little more modesty than a breastfeeding friendly top can offer, or you need to go out in a regular shirt, breastfeeding covers can come to the rescue. There are a lot of affordable options on Amazon, but I’d recommend finding one that has breathable fabric.
I’d also recommend practicing with this at home before heading out. I made the mistake of trying this at book club for the first time and Baby PP was not having it. We ended up going to the car to breastfeed. Breastfeeding Covers can also be incredibly warm, so consider the weather before covering baby.
Special Considerations: NICU and Hospital Stays
Baby Primer Peak spent 30 days in the NICU before they were discharged. Having a baby in the NICU is an experience I wish upon no one, but if needed, is the safest place for your baby to be. Sometimes I have guilt that I didn’t use that month to figure out some of the questions I now have about conceal carrying as a new mom. But conceal carrying was the last thing on my mind during that time. I was in and out of the hospital, and carrying a gun was the least of my concerns.
Don’t forget that carrying a gun into the hospital can have serious legal consequences. Be familiar with your local laws. We never recommend doing anything illegal here on Primer Peak. It’s up to you to understand your restrictions and limitations.
To Carry or Not to Carry
The NICU is a relatively safe place. Our NICU was located inside the Labor and Delivery (L&D) ward. We had to first be buzzed into L&D, then scrub in before being buzzed into the NICU. Baby PP, my husband and I all wore matching bands to connect us to baby. Without it we wouldn’t have been admitted. I never worried about someone unauthorized gaining access to the NICU, so I felt safe not carrying.
Time in the NICU is not the time for conceal carry. You’re learning to breastfeed, if that is what you want to do. You are also doing as much skin to skin and kangaroo care with your baby as possible. That means anything worn on-body will likely be exposed, unless you want to remain clothed the entire time. Even with the door closed, expect frequent intrusions from staff to monitor you and baby. When you are desperately trying to bond with your baby and develop their brain however you can from the outside, there really is no place for your firearm.
Mama to a NICU baby: You are doing the best that you can in an impossible situation. Whatever you chose to prioritize during this time is the best choice for you. Whether that is making sure you’re armed before leaving the house, or leaving the gun at home. Whether that is spending all of your days in the NICU, or going home to sleep in your bed. Eventually you’ll walk out of the NICU for the last time. I am so sorry you also have to endure this.
Conclusion on Conceal Carrying During Pregnancy | The Fourth Trimester
Being a mom is so much better than I imagined. I am so in love with this tiny thing. I am also hit with the magnitude of my new responsibility. Being a new mom and a conceal carrier is not for the faint of heart, but it is totally doable. I’ll be continuing this series as I learn more about carrying as a mother. Keep an eye out for updates here as both Baby PP and I grow together!
For those who haven’t yet delivered, be sure to read Parts One, Two, and Three of this series!
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