There is very little quality information out there regarding conceal carry during pregnancy. There is even less information about how to handle changes as a new or expectant father. We’re here to try and change that. Primer Peak writer Ally Corless has an ongoing series for the mother’s perspective, and I’m here to give you dad’s.
Before We Begin
Congratulations, you’re going to be a dad! When I got hit with that information it was a flood of emotions from stress, to nervousness, glee, and more. Becoming a father is quite possibly the biggest life change I’ve experienced to date, and I’m sure it will be for you too. As someone who carries a pistol virtually everyday, I knew some changes were about to take place once the little one entered our world.
I recommend you read Ally’s series to help you better understand your partner’s perspective. If they haven’t read it, send it their way. Then when they’re done, have them check this out to give them dad’s view as well. Let’s get down to business and take a look at conceal carry for new and expectant fathers.
Conceal Carry During Pregnancy – A Father’s Perspective
The big changes for you won’t happen yet, that’s mostly on momma. That said, you will have some adjustments to make, both for yourself and those around you.
You partner is likely going to be less aware and less coordinated as pregnancy goes forward. Changes in hormones, shifts in their center of gravity, insomnia, and more will take their toll on momma. This may lead them to change their plans for how they handle defensive encounters, which will drive changes of your own. Avoidance is of even more importance now, as their ability to fight or flee is continually diminished.
Heightened Emotions
If they carry, help manage your partner’s expectations. Ally speaks to the physical and mental toll of pregnancy as it relates to carry in her series. They may choose to change their tool selection, or forgo being armed at all. That’s okay, their top responsibility right now is growing a child.
Dad will also likely experience new and strong emotions during this time, so consider how those will impact your ability to safely carry and handle firearms. While not a happy thought, it is also important to consider what may happen if the pregnancy does not go well.
Managing Contaminants
This is equally important during pregnancy as after birth, but changes start now. When we handle our firearms we’re exposed to lead, carbon, and a host of other nasty things we want to keep away from ourselves, our partners, and our children. This exposure not only happens during shooting, but also cleaning, loading, and general handling as well.
Live fire practice or observation of your range time is over for your partner. They need to avoid as much contact with these contaminants as possible. You clean the gun, you load the magazines, etc. When you finish shooting, or other handling you must wash your hands thoroughly, change your clothes, and shower. Clean your footwear and leave them outside, don’t track nastiness into the house.
If your partner wants to continue growing their skills, they can look to dry practice or other non-firing options. Ally Corless wrote a piece on this exact subject for especially motivated mommas.
At the Doctor
Just because there isn’t a baby in your belly doesn’t mean you won’t be going to the doctor’s office. We did hospital tours, attended pre-birth and breastfeeding classes, and more. Occasionally I’d accompany my wife to her pre-natal appointments for support as well. For someone without a baby in my belly, I was there more than I expected to be, and I really wasn’t at the doctor that often.
Know your local laws as they relate to carrying a gun into medical facilities such as hospitals. We never recommend people break the law here at Primer Peak, so it’ll be up to you to see what your area’s restrictions are. Should it be legal, be cognizant of policy, security measures, and more. You don’t want to waltz up to the door, only to sheepishly turn away at the sign of a metal detector. Making momma late for her appointment won’t go well for you.
Delivery – A Father’s Perspective
Ideally delivery is scheduled well ahead of time, then you and your partner head to the doctor with a plan in place and bags packed. Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case. You may unexpectedly be rushed to delivery. This can happen during a routine appointment, or while out in public.
We went from a normal checkup to being scheduled for delivery several weeks early in a matter of minutes. Have a plan for how you’ll manage your firearm if you find yourself suddenly heading to or getting stuck in the hospital.
Your Hospital Room
Again, know your local laws. This is assuming you are legally allowed to carry into the hospital. Getting caught breaking the law can have serious consequences for you and your family.
Once you arrive for delivery, you’ll likely spend a long time in one room. Privacy is an illusion here, as you’ll have frequent unannounced intrusions by medical staff. That means taking off your gun and setting it on the bedside table, or tucking your shirt behind the grip for comfort are not options here. You’ll want to stay comfortable, and most on-body carry solutions start to encounter issues there after several hours.
We stayed in the hospital for six days with no secure storage, little privacy, middling climate control, and uncomfortable furniture. You will almost certainly be sleeping here for at least one night. You are an afterthought at best, and some staff may treat you with contempt to hostility. During this time your focus should be on supporting your partner.
You may have to change clothes to participate in delivery. Staff may stop you from participating if you try to come in with a fannypack or other off-body carry solution. Do you want to miss the birth of your child in order to stay strapped? It’s a tough decision, but I know where my decision sits. Alternative tools may be a better option here, such as OC spray or a sap where legal. Consider installing a vehicle-mounted safe to arm up for the return home.
Baby’s Arrival
The big day is here, your baby has arrived! Assuming everything has gone well, you’ll likely be spending some quality time together in your hospital room. While momma will likely get the majority of the snuggles, eventually you’ll need to step in so she can rest. Even if baby is sent to the NICU, there’s still a good chance that you’ll get to hold baby, though for more limited amounts of time.
One of the best ways to bond during your hospital stay, and beyond, is skin-to-skin contact with baby (source 1, source 2). Consider how you would do this while (legally) armed. Privacy is even lower in the NICU. Does the gun fit in with your plan to bond with baby?
Conceal Carry Post-Birth – A Father’s Perspective
Figure out how you are going to integrate your gun into your newfound lifestyle. More likely than not you are going to be carrying a child in your arms, in a car seat, or strapped to your body in the near future. Even pushing a child in a stroller can introduce new variables. How do these things interact with your typical carry location? Maybe you need to carry in a different position now, or swap to a different gun. Practice with these new methods at home using an inert blue gun to help understand changes before stepping into the real world. We’ll look more at specifics in later articles.
Expect to frequently lose the use of at least one arm. A baby isn’t heavy, but carrying one means you likely won’t have access to both hands constantly. Keep the kid in your support arm to ensure you can access your pistol in an emergency. You’ll need to work on your one-handed shooting skills, and likely make changes to how you would engage potential threats. It may also be prudent to relocate other tools such as OC spray, flashlights, and more to maintain access to those as well.
Off Body Carry
Consider testing off-body carry if you don’t already. Some carriers will completely encircle your waistband when baby wearing. Strapping a fannypack over the baby carrier may be your best bet for rapid access. Options that allow the storage of a holstered pistol may be best, so you can transition to IWB carry later. Something like the Wilderness Tactical DB Defender Waistpack, or Elite Survival Systems Tailgunner 2 are solid options.
Think of the Children
Don’t forget to consider the baby itself in your plans. Limbs can also interact with your firearm, potentially exposing it to view. In other cases you may need to physically move your child for weapon access and employment. Certain shooting techniques, such as the Thumb Pectoral Index, may need to be culled from your repertoire during this time to avoid potentially endangering your worn child.
Human Interactions
You are about to experience a substantial increase in unprovoked interactions with strangers. When momma is pregnant people will come up to ask how far along she is, and possibly try to touch her belly. Things only get worse once the baby is here in person. Everyone wants to see the baby, whether you’re with your partner or alone.
This can give bad actors an excuse to close distance, though most people are benign. Some may demand proof that you are authorized to have this child, consider how you will handle that situation. Other people feel entitled to look, speak to, or even touch your child. It’s up to you to establish and enforce boundaries within legal restrictions.
Drain You
Baby will be a drain on your awareness as you tend to their needs, both at home and in public. Depending on home life you may find yourself regularly exhausted, which will impact your awareness and physical skills negatively. Try to focus in transitional spaces such as parking lots, and entrances to buildings.
Consider how you’ll manage loading and unloading the baby from your vehicle, both alone and with your partner. One option we use is to get into the car and lock it from the inside while we strap the baby into their seat. This is especially useful when baby wearing, as we are not bogged down with doffing baby in a busy parking lot. If you’re with your partner, one of you can handle baby while the other stands watch. For those with older children, assign them the task of initially handling the baby, then check their work afterwards to save time.
Wrapping Up Conceal Carrying for New and Expectant Fathers
This is just a snippet of what goes into conceal carrying as a new or expectant father. A primer, or peak, if you will. As time goes on I’ll continue this series with my findings. This will cover specifics of baby wearing options, changes as the child grows, and more. Consider this the pre-MUC tips and tricks hotline, with details of what to do in the lead-up and experience of a defensive encounter coming from elsewhere.
Again, congratulations on this big change! Remember, now you’re not only responsible for yourself, but also the little life that you have created. It’s time to reevaluate your practices, and see what fits into this new world, and what doesn’t. Hopefully this helps you along your way. Stay tuned for more information in the coming weeks, months, and years!
Check out Ally’s series on a mother’s perspective throughout and after pregnancy!
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