There are many elements to a handgun. This is pretty obvious, but the most important one is function. Does the gun work? Well, over the last 150 years, there have been a lot of firearms that work well. They gain popularity, get adopted by militaries, cops, and regular folks, and get used.
Well, what happens when the handgun is bad? It falls away from the limelight, and is generally forgotten by most folks, aside from those who like the esoteric. I’m among the esoteric, and I’ve set out to find the coolest looking bad handgun.
The Search
Well, I’m no stranger to bad handguns. I used to be a milsurp collector, so I’ve owned my fair share of ancient, bad guns. I’ve also gotten hands-on with a lot of bad guns, through my travels. What criteria am I using here?
Well, I’ll be frank; it’s a little fast and loose. Being bad has nothing to do with how successful the gun was. It could be a popular gun that sucks, or a failed gun that sucks. All that matters is that it is generally bad, and looks cool.
I’ve got two runner-ups before getting to the star of the show. What are these pretty turds?
Runner Up #1 – The HK VP70
The VP70 is a gun that I’m quite familiar with. I owned one for a while, shot it a fair bit, and wrote an article about it here. It was an incredibly important gun, being the first commercially sold polymer framed handgun. It also touted high capacity for the mid 20th century, and was striker fired too. While not the best selling gun ever, it was also fairly commercially successful, being produced for 20 years.
Despite all of that, it’s not a good gun. The trigger pull ranges from horrible to terrible, depending on your striker spring. The sights are terrible too, as the front sight is a strange, ramped cut-out design. While the pistol is not harsh recoiling, the deep rifling in the gun reduces velocity of your bullet by a massive amount.
[Editor’s Note: I really liked the trigger and sights when I shot Paul’s VP70, and shot fairly well with it. I’m an outlier, but I love this gun.]
It’s bad, but it’s cool. Leon Kennedy and the Colonial Marines used them, and that’s pretty rad. It has that space blaster look, but with some German bleakness to it.
Runner Up #2 – The Hudson H9
The Hudson H9 was a proper turd. They were the classic story of overpromising and underdelivering. The guns had massive QC issues, poor build quality, and shot poorly too. Well, most of them did. Patrick reviewed it way back in 2020, and it certainly feels more like an autopsy than a review.
Despite the crappiness of the gun, it looks cool. It’s kind of like a 1911 with a few birth defects, but we still love it’s looks all the same. It’s still uglier than the 1911, but hey, not all guns can look as good as JMB’s best one.
The Winner
Well, this bad gun is one that I’ve always thought was cool. It’s like James from Twin Peaks; cool, but you don’t wanna hear him talk too much. This gun also (partially) lead to the downfall of it’s maker, which probably gives it more points.
It’s the Remington R51. This gun was so bad that it got recalled, spent two years cooking, and then came back out just to still be a turd. These things are absolutely notorious for not working, and for being harsh shooters. However, they look beautiful. If the VP70 looks like a space gun, this is the cooler space gun.
Now, it’s bad, yeah. However, how does mine actually shoot?
Horribly. It’s the most uncomfortable handgun that I’ve ever fired. Mine does work though, which feels like some form of karmic punishment to me.
I can’t just tell you that it looks cool without explaining why I think it looks cool. Let’s do that.
The Curves On This Thang
The R51 is a curvy pistol. It’s got them all over the slide and frame, and I think that’s the big draw for me. It’s taking design cues from the original Model 51, but with that 21st century retro-modern callback style. Much like the 2005 Ford Mustang, it feels old and modern at the same time.
This is one of those guns that I can look at, know that it’s bad, but still like it. It’s all in the lines.
The Verdict
Well, the R51 was a commercial failure. As someone who was into shooting during the final years of Freedom Group Remington, I’m fascinated by this gun. In the era of the S&W Shield and Glock 43, the R51 was nearly DOA. It was a design that was made too late to matter, and was made too poorly to be a classic.
The design is calling back to the Pederson original Model 51, but this was a fool’s errand for the 21st century. A complicated design paired with Remington’s spotty QC lead to all of those issues back in 2014 and 16.
Despite all of the known issues, the horrible track record, and the general crappiness of the gun, I’ve always wanted to test one. It looks cool, and they can be had cheap. With that said, I’ll be dealing with the garmonbozia of testing, and eventually reviewing the R51. Readers, I swear I’m doing alright.
Video Work
While writing is my primary way to provide you with information, I’m also making videos over on YouTube. You can find that work over at my channel, linked here.
Additional Reading & Patreon Link
Below are some related articles from past April Fool’s, or articles related to the guns mentioned here:
- What Are The Best Guns For Shooting At Sharks? [AF 2024]
- How Much Does A Wool Poncho Affect Shooting? [AF 2023]
- Condoms On Guns: Any Possible Use?
- The HK VP70 – The Most Important Bad Handgun [2022]
If you’d like to support me on Patreon, I’ve got the link for that here. Nearly everything that I do on Primer Peak is paid for out of my own pocket, and my content is not shilled or driven by manufacturers or companies. If you decide to donate, I’d really appreciate it, as it would allow for me to continue to bring you quality work.
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